Freeing Yourself from Abuse
November 26, 2021
It’s another perfect day for mommy Evelyn to sell handmade rags to their local market. She leaves her two daughters, Grace and Bella, with her husband Paolo to assist him with the household chores. She couldn’t ask for anything more. The kids get along well with their father. Mommy Evelyn is always excited to come home to see her beautiful family, especially her happy children. The house is organized and dinner is always set. Everything seems to be going smoothly.
Until one night, mommy Evelyn notices that her youngest daughter Bella, 7 years old, was a little distant.
“Bella, are you okay? Is there any problem? Are you sick?”, Evelyn asks. But her daughter does not say a word.
“I don’t know what’s happening to your daughter. She’s been so quiet lately.” Paolo says as he immediately leaves to meet up with his friends.
“Grace, do you know what’s wrong with your sister? She’s so quiet and doesn’t want to talk to me.” Grace avoids her mother’s question and goes on in washing the dishes.
Mommy Evelyn becomes so restless and forces Bella to speak up. The young girl suddenly starts to cry...her hands shaking.
“Mommy...mommy. I want to come with you to the market. Please mommy don’t leave me here!”, she screams.
Grace approaches her mom crying and says, “Mommy, promise not to tell daddy about this. Daddy is touching Bella’s sensitive parts and when she refuses or cries, he would punch Bella’s stomach. He is also doing that to me, mommy ever since you started selling at the market. We really wanted to tell you but daddy threatened to kill us.”
Mommy Evelyn couldn’t believe her daughter’s confession. Tears begin to roll down from her eyes. She embraces her daughters and whispers to them, “I can’t let this pass. I may have endured all the physical abuse he caused me but not my children. He should pay for this.”
Here’s what you should do when someone discloses that she is a victim of abuse:
1. Listen. Breaking the silence is the first step. Assure the victim that you can be trusted so she can start to open up. Make sure to pay attention to all the details and ask questions when necessary.
2. Believe. Let the person feel loved and understood. Try not to show any disapproval to what she says. If you think the disclosure is made up, just stay steady and let her finish.
3. Assure safety. Establish a plan on how you can protect the victim in order to eliminate contact from the person who abused her. Encourage the victim that what was done to her was wrong and report this immediately to the authorities.
4. Get help. Tell the abused that keeping the problem to herself will not solve the issue. She needs to get outside help to also guide her with the healing process. Go to the nearest barangay office to file a blotter report and request for a restraining order.
Here are some numbers you can call:
Police Hotline: 177
24/7 AVAWCD Office: (02) 8532-6690
Public Attorney’s Office (PAO): (02) 8929-9436 local 106, 107, or 159; (+63) 9393233665
Inter-Agency Council on Violence Against Women and their Children: (+63) 9178671907; (+63) 9178748961
Sometimes, domestic violence can turn life-threatening. Some women even die at the hands of their intimate partner. Serious physical injuries and harm can easily send a poor wife to the hospital. What if the abused has no means to pay for her hospital expenses and is financially dependent solely on her abusive spouse?
A health care plan is necessary on top of an existing HMO and other government-mandated benefits such as Philhealth to assist financially in case of a hospital confinement. It also provides a sense of financial freedom and security in times of illnesses and medical emergencies. Women, whether they’re single or married, must understand that looking after their health and well-being should be a topmost priority.
As Paramount Direct joins in this crusade, we offer affordable health care insurance products that cover hospitalization due any sickness or injury, even those resulting from physical abuse.
Our Hospital Income Benefit Plan is available for individuals, couples or family starting at PHP69, PHP131 and PHP175 respectively. Visit our website at www.paramountdirect.com for more information and to apply online.
Violence is not just a serious public health problem but also a grave violation of human rights. According to Republic Act 9262 or the Anti-Violence Against Women and their Children Act of 2004, VAW is “any act or a series of acts committed by any person against a woman who is his wife, former wife, or against a woman with whom the person has or had a sexual or dating relationship, or with whom he has a common child, or against her child whether legitimate or illegitimate, with or without the family abode, which result in or is likely to result in physical, sexual, psychological harm or suffering, or economic abuse including threats of such acts, battery, assault, coercion, harassment or arbitrary deprivation of liberty.”
November 25 is the start of the 18-Day Campaign to End Violence Against Women/ National Consciousness Day for the Elimination of VAWC. Let’s be committed to #redirect away from all forms of gender-based violence, raise awareness on the problem of violence against women and girls and help uphold their rights and welfare.
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