Keys to a Lasting Relationship


February 14, 2018


Have you ever heard about the expression, “Walang Forever”?  Is “forever”  for real or reel only?  Nowadays, broken marriages, annulment and divorce are very common already that people don’t get surprised anymore when it happens even to their closest friend or family members.  It makes us think sometimes that perhaps there really is no forever.  But then again there are some who still question why it’s happening.  Is it because people rush into marriage without really thinking about it, or because they just settle for what’s there and didn’t really wait for the “right” one, does the right one even exist?  We can go on and on about the possible reasons but perhaps we should talk about the possible answers on how to make a relationship last.

 

There are a lot write-ups out there on what makes relationships last and we have picked a few of what seem to be the most effective based on the marriages around us which we have witnessed.  Although it’s true that each relationship is unique based on the different personalities and situations of the people involved, one formula may work to one but may not necessarily apply to the other, but the basic principle to making it work is universal.

 

  • TEAMWORK. Relationships are hard work and it’s a work in progress. Even the most successful married couples admit that it is never a smooth sail ride, at least not all the time.  Many have been through ups and downs but the defining factor that they make it work is that they never give up.  And it’s not and never one-way.  Both have to want to make it work.  Just like when sailing a boat, it is easier to get to your destination if both of you paddle. In short, fight the challenges of life together and taste the sweetness of success in the end.


  • Communicate and Listen - As you grow old together communication and willingness to listen will play an essential role in your everyday life.  It is encouraged that couples, at an early stage of their relationship, should practice open communication.  Always have an open mind and an ear to listen.  Give each other a chance to talk and explain his/her side.  It is alright to argue as long as at the end of the conversation you coincide.  When talking, keep your respect to another and use a warm tone as much as possible.  

    Part of communication is resolving issues and crisis as a team.  Don’t leave or pass the burden to your partner.  Listen to what your partner suggests and talk about plans and strategies on how you are going to resolve the problem together.    It’s also important that you have a time in a day where you get to talk, it can be over dinner or breakfast or in bed before you sleep.    


  • Build and maintain a strong foundation – When you see this phrase, first thing that comes into your mind is “how?”  What do we need to do to strengthen the foundation of a relationship?


First, always go out on a date.  Set a schedule for your date night at least once a week and It should only be the two of you, no children allowed.  Watch a movie, eat in a restaurant, travel, book a hotel, etc.  Explore and be creative as possible!

      

Second, be honest and trustworthy.  Honesty and trustworthiness go hand in hand.  For you to be true to others, be honest to yourself first.  Honesty is very healthy in a relationship, so stop making up stories or trying to cover up things which you are ashamed for your partner to know.  

 

Third, have a mutual and separate interest.  Talk about activities which you would like to do together and as an individual.  It is still important that each of you have “alone” or “me” time.  Doing activities together make you discover more about each other while having time for yourself is also essential for your self-worth and self-growth.  So there are days where you can watch a specific TV series which you both enjoy, and once a month, your partner will have a “me” time at the salon or play poker with his friends.

 

Fourth, support each other’s dreams.  If there’s one person who should be supporting your partner, it’s YOU!  Don’t be a hurdle to your partner’s dreams.  Instead, encourage him/her more to achieve that dream.  If it entails a little sacrifice on your part, like taking care of the kid on Saturdays while your spouse attends a training or goes to school to fulfill his/her dream, then so be it.  At the end of day, your spouse’s success is your own so you should be there for each other no matter what.

 

  • Plan for your future – Money is a sensitive issue for some couples, and it’s actually healthy that even before you get married, you already talked about how to manage your finances.  It is best that both of you are on the same page when it comes to handling money.  You have to talk about how you will spend, save and invest  especially since sooner or later, your family will grow.  One of the main reasons why couples break up is money so it’s better if this is thoroughly talked about at the onset.  Careful planning will effectively help you achieve your goals.


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Difficult as it may seem, just put a lot of love into TEAMWORK, it will definitely give you a positive result! Have an enjoyable sail ride to forever!



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